“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood,” he wrote. “This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”

Asked again if he was denying reports that Simpson is pregnant, Wentz, 28, replied, “Yeah.”

Err… well, ok I wouldn’t exactly call it a “witch hunt,” which according to M-W.com means ” 1 : a searching out for persecution of persons accused of witchcraft 2 : the searching out and deliberate harassment of those (as political opponents) with unpopular views “, buuuuutttt whatever.

As we all know, celebs love love love denying they are preggers, so I guess only time will tell. And who could forget that infamous YouTube video of Pete and Ashlee poking fun at pop star pregnancy. Hmmm… a little more telling than we first thought?

BREAKING NEWS…
THIS JUST IN FROM ASHLEE SIMPSON “We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.”
- Ashlee and Pete

BEFORE

AFTER

In other news, if that hippie Jason smiles one more time I’m going to punch him in the face, and the asian (who was kicked off last night) couldn’t sing, and neither can the hot Australian guy. Sadly the Irish girl needs to take herself a little LESS seriously, and that country girl gets on my nerves too. The blonde piano girl is annoying as well. I mis Chikezie only b/c I loved his name.

PHANTOM PLANET IS TOURING WITH PANIC AT THE DISCO!! WHAAAAHHT?

I’d always grouped Phantom Planet in the indie pop-rock category, having seen them play medium-sized rock clubs with bands like Superdrag and since disbanded New York band The Realistics since 2001. The last time I saw them was in 2004 at Irving Plaza while they were Jason Schwartzman-less and promoting their self-titled album.

So you can understand my shock when I heard Panic’s Brenden Urie uttering “Phantom Planet” in that video: 1. I couldn’t believe that Phantom Planet was still around and 2. Why they hell are they touring with Panic, Motion City Soundtrack, and The Hush Sound?

The answer is simple, Phantom Planet is now on the Fueled By Ramen record label–which is the parent label of FOB’s frontman, Pete Wentz, which is the label that Panic at the Disco is associated with. Ah hah!

Although the teaming up of PP and FBR seemed weird at first, it actually make a lot of sense to me. Historically speaking, PP has ALWAYS attracted a young, passionate, female-dominated fan base. (Having a dishy Alex Greenwald seems to help.) Their songs are up-beat, and they are well known for lending their song “California” to the popular teen drama The O.C.. I’m sure girls who usually scream their heads off for Ryan Ross will have absolutely no problem going hoarse for Greenwald and co.

Over the last four years the band has gone through some hardships–original guitarist Jacques Brautbar left the band in 2004 and they were dropped by Epic Records after their self-titled album failed to product blockbuster sales. Weirdly enough, their once extremely active and updated official site has now been replaced by a standard MySpace page. They continue to blog like crazy.

However, they are officially BACK, with a new album called Raise the Dead, dropping on April 15th. I’m really looking forward to hearing it as their last album (the aforementioned S/T-ed effort) was among my top 10 favorite albums of 2004.

Possible album cover as shown on the PP Myspace and FBR pages.

I wonder what magical musical goodness they’ve been storing up (or letting waste away) during the past four years–however the source of inspiration for the album terrifies me a little. According to Billboard, the LP’s songs were “inspired by the music of cult leaders such as Charles Manson, Jim Jones and David Koresh.” Wow. That’s. Intense.

You can get a sneak peak listen of some of PP’s new song “Geronimo” in this FBR teaser video:

…as well as “The Leader”, which was originally on the FBR-released 2007 Tour EP (BTW- Alex is back to his original HOTNESS. Those who had been keeping tabs know that over the last 4 years there were some HAIRY, scary moments.):

And check out the band video of a recording session for “The Leader” featuring a troupe of enthusiastic kids from Kenter Canyon Elementary School:

The first single off the new album is appropriately enough, “Do the Panic.” The album drops on April 15th.

Here are the lyrics:

WE’RE SO STARVING
Oh how it’s been so long,
We’re so sorry we’ve been gone
We were busy writing songs for you.

You don’t have to worry, cause we’re still the same band.
You don’t have to worry, you don’t.

NINE IN THE AFTERNOON
Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as lovers can you know,
yea we’re feeling so good.
Picking up things we shouldn’t read
It looks like the end of history as we know,
It’s just the end of the world.

Back to the street where we began
Feeling as good as love you could you can

Into a place where thoughts can bloom
Into a room where it’s nine in the afternoon
And we know that it could be
And we know that it should
And you know that you feel it too.

Cause it’s nine in the afternoon
And your eyes are the size of the moon
You could cause you can, so you do.
We’re feeling so good, just the way that we do
When it’s nine in the afternoon.

Back to the street down to our feet,
losing the feeling of feeling unique.
Do you know what I mean?
Back to the place where we used to say,
Man it feels good to feel this way.
Now I know what I mean.

Back to the street, back to the place,
Back to the room where it all began.

SHE’S A HANDSOME WOMAN
Innocence.
Sunk the glow and drowned in covers,
send for all your absent lovers things.

Sheepish Wolves.
Looking lived in eating buttons,
Wink, just don’t put your teeth on me.

Accidents.
Let the evening in the backdoor,
filled the room ceiling to the floor.

Beat backbones.
Grazed the poem and made it strange,
I wasn’t born to be a skeleton.

Go on,
grab your hat and fetch a camera.
Go on, film the world before it happens.

Jealous orchard.
The sky is falling off the ceiling
while I’m tucking fibs into a cookie jar.

Bombed reverie.
It’s useless searching in the cupboards
when everything you have is on your back.

THAT GREEN GENTELMAN [SIC]
Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.
Little deaths in musical beds.
So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met.

You will only hear these elegant crimes,
Fall on your ears from criminal dimes.
They spill unfound from a pretty mouth.

everybody gets there and everybody gets their way.
I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her,
Now I’m the only one to blame.

Things have changed for me, and that’s okay.
I feel the same, I’m on my way, and I say.

I want to go where everyone goes,
I want to know what everyone knows
I want to go where everyone feels the same

I never said I’d leave the city,
I never said I’d leave this town.
A falling out we won’t tiptoe about.

MAD AS RABBITS
Come save me from walking off a windowsill
or I’ll sleep in the rain.
Don’t you remember when I was a bird
and you were a map?
Now he drags down miles in America
briefcase in hand.
The stove is creeping up his spine again,
can’t get enough trash.

He took the days for pageant
Became as mad as rabbits
With bushels of bad habits
Who could ask for anymore?
Yea who could have more.

His arms were the branches of a Christmas tree
preached the devil in the belfry.
He checked in
to learn his clothes had been thieved at the train station.
Rope hung his other branch
and at the end was a dog called bambi
Who was chewing on his parliaments
when he tried to save the calendar business.

The poor son of a humble chimney sweep
fell to a cheap crowd
So stay asleep and put on that cursive type
you know we live in a toy.
Paul Cates bought himself a trumpet from the salvation army
But there ain’t no sunshine in his song
We must reinvent love.

YOUR VOTING was the key in helping this lil’ ol’ blog win a 2008 Shockwave NME Award for Best Music Blog.

I would like to thank YOU, the people who have faithfully visited my labor of love since 2001. Thanks for putting up with all my stupid posts about the White Stripes (who could forget the “Jack White in a bathing suit” post or “Meg White’s Disco Boobs” entry?), Ryan Adams (he loves puppies, remember?), and everyone else who created music pre-2003. Thanks again guys, couldn’t have done it without you.

If and when I receive my golden middle finger statue I will surely post photos.

In one telling scene, Ashlee screams to Pete to get her the Cheetos and then they go on to say that they will be having a little rascal in 9 months.

Not sure why this was necessary…

In this case pictures DO speak a thousand words. No adjectives under the sun could begin to explain the breathtaking photo of the 30 Seconds to Mars frontman I’m about to show you.

Here’s one hint about the glory that awaits you after the jump:

Click on IF YOU DARE!

Please help!!

You can vote for me (and all the other categories) RIGHT HERE: http://www.nme.com/awardsnominees

Sadly I will now have to abbreviate the band name as P@TD or PATD instead of the way more fun “P!@TD” or simply “Panic!”

Their second album, Pretty. Odd. will be released on March 25th on Decaydence/Fueled by Ramen.